Derbyshire Times launch 'You’re Not Alone' campaign to support people grieving after miscarriage

When Anne-Frances Hayes had a miscarriage she felt like she was having ‘the most intense six-month-long depression.’

Anne was devastated to lose her much-longed-for baby but found it difficult to talk about her loss and felt a stigma around the subject.

Anne said: "I felt like the only woman in the world it had ever happened to. When I opened up to other women about my miscarriage I was gobsmacked by how common it was. So many women who I knew for years never told me they went through it. We'd never broached it until it happened to me."

Anne is just one of thousands of women who go through a miscarriage every year. There’s a lot of uncertainty around how many miscarriages and pregnancy losses occur. Unlike stillbirths and neonatal deaths, miscarriages are not officially recorded in the UK.

Using NHS data, Sands and Tommy’s charities which provide support to grieving parents, estimated that there may have been over 100,000 miscarriages in England during 2021-22 - with chances that the number is even higher due to the lack of reporting.

While it is estimated that 15 in every 100 pregnancies end in miscarriage, many women claim they don't get the bereavement support they need after losing their unborn baby.

Poppy Walker, from Ripley, who suffered an early miscarriage last year, said she faced taboo and social judgement.

She said: "There is still a lot of stigma around miscarriage. I've had some people telling me I was overreacting - that it was just a late period and not really a pregnancy. I was told that I should look for a silver lining - but I was grieving and going through a very difficult time.

“I was really looking forward to being a mum - planning to buy clothes, decorating. Hearing that there was no heartbeat was really difficult to accept.”

To support families grieving after the loss of an unborn baby, this week The Derbyshire Times is launching a campaign to raise awareness about the impact of miscarriage and to call for better access to mental health support for those bereaving.

During the campaign, we will shed light on services available in Derbyshire – including NHS mental health services and charities offering support to grieving parents.

We will give a voice to parents who went through a miscarriage and discuss the complex impacts that losing an unborn baby can have on various areas of life.

While working alongside miscarriage survivors, charities, mental health services and local authorities we will look into ways to improve support for people grieving unborn babies in Derbyshire.

Anne added: “I think it's fantastic that you're running the campaign to open up this conversation in Derbyshire. People need to talk about miscarriage more to help break the stigma around it.

"NHS is brilliant with the medical side of things but more needs to be done in terms of mental health aftercare and support at workplaces. I think the law should allow men and women have an opportunity to take time off work to process the grief after a miscarriage.”